My issues with hijab

firstly i dont want anybody to judge me by saying im a bad muslimah....

im in a bit of a situation, obviously im a practicing muslim and from my picture u can see i wear hijab, however, last month i took it off.

im having some issues at the moment with my father,
For the two years that i'd been covering was the worst year of my life in the sense that i missed my dad (because he refused to have any contact with me as a hijabi and wearing abbaya)

it was a lot of emotional strain and it showed in my school work, i turned to self harm because i felt i deserve pain after the pain i was causing my dad.
At the moment my health is also in bad condition.

Some may call me weak but im just 17, and i gave in because i didn't want to lose out on my father, i heard he was having health problems so obviously i thought of the worst ' what if he's going to die'
thats scared me even more, because i didnt want him to go with bad feeling toward me.

Its been a month since ive taken it off, and in the time ive realised what a big mistake i'd made,

I made more friends at school, i found people talking to me more, and inviting me to places more....my social life is at a all time high

despite this....i feel naked without it, and feel i need to look a certain way to fit in.

i know what ive done is wrong and fro the past 2 weeks ive been reading books, listening to lectures basically trying to give myself strength to wear it again,

i have the intention to wear it again as soon as possible....only problem is i dont know how to tell my dad, and how to deal with the hurt.

my dad is a born muslim, but doesn tbelieve in praying, fastin, hijab etc.....although this is bad, hes still my father, and he has feelings too. I am his only daughter.

is there any advice?? im seriously in need of help and appriciate anything.

thanks
xx

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mohdolateju mohdolateju is offline
1 year ago

Assalam Alaikum, sister i think u should stay strong and pray to Allah i think u should also not remove your hijab when u see your father it shows a sign that u a yielding to oppression u should try to talk to your father about Islam if he doesnt listen them leave him and pray for him, just like Prophet Ibrahim(A.S).I think i know a little about what u are going through because i am 18 and i have relatives and friends that don't follow some of what they are supposed to.

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be
established." QURAN{14:41}

And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you
join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them
not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.QURAN{8:29}

karim karim is offline
1 year ago

May ALLAH make it easy on you. AMEEN.

Kayrou Kayrou is offline
1 year ago

1 - get friends who are practising muslimahs
2 - keep wearing the hijab without your family knowing (take it off when with them inc father)
3 - give small doses of islam to father (sounds like medicine lol ), just small stuff od islam and iman and the after world

savi savi is offline
1 year ago

Assalam sister...After reading what you wrote I would like to tell u a story of a sahaba...Once Hazrat Abu bakar (RA) was sitting with his son...His son told Abu bakr (RA) that on the battle of badr u were with the muslims and I was with the Quraish, during the battle u had come in front of me and i changed my direction so that i do not fight with you. On hearing this Abu bakr (RA) replied...I swear by God if i would have seen you in front of me I would not have stopped my sword. This is the great commitment and the sacrifice that the sahabas and the Prophet (pbuh) gave that Islam has reached us. I think your dad is wrong and you are right and if he is hurt or hurting himself its his fault not yours and you will not be answerable to Allah for this. My dear sister what Allah says in the Quran to us is that this 40, 50, 60 years life of the world is a test and the result will be in the akhira... And maybe this is a test for you. Whom do you think is hurting more wrong your dad or the creator and the master of the worlds Allah. Start wearing hijab agian, have patience, discuss with your dad according to Quran, hadith, logic etc...Dont even think of giving up untill he gives up. keep praying to Allah as Allah is so power full that if he says something to be, it comes into being. Allah can change your fathers heart. And the thing you are saying that not wearing hijab has gained u more friends is meaningless. You should be with friends who respect you for your beliefs. Even being a muslim guy if your religious, friends who like to party,go for movies, enjoy roaming with the opposite sex will definitely avoid u...And i too have lost a lot of friends like that and gained a few friends who respect my beliefs...

Biftu Biftu is offline
1 year ago

He totally refuses to see you? and he is muslim?
You are obviously dealing with a lot and im not going to judge you and say you are a bad person. If he loved you and if he was close to death he wouldnt miss out on a relationship with his daughter b/c of clothes. He is under the influence of shaitan, why would these types of clothes be soo bad that a father would refuse to see his only daughter. It is b.c those clothes mean she is obeying Allah(swt) and shaitan doesnt want you to do that. If your father jumped into the fire, would you jump in after him?

Sister I love my father dearly like any daughter but I would never jump into fire after my father, Id try to stop him from jumping...but id never jump. Dont jump sister.

as for all those so called friends who invite you to places, their company isnt worth missing out on the company of the people of jennah.

misslady misslady is offline
1 year ago

oh and by the way your father has come out of islam since he don't believe he has to pray, fast and etc he is no longer a muslim by denying these rights sister you don't put no one not even your father over the love of Allah!

misslady misslady is offline
1 year ago

sister that is your test with /Allah with your father and you shouldn't take off the hijab when it commanded by Allah to wear it you need to come to the classes at sunnahfollowers.net and learn about your religion i'm not judging you but taking the hijab off becos of issues like if you die today or tomorrow what can you tell Allah oh my father that why i took the hijab off subhannallah

shooting_star shooting_star is offline
1 year ago

wear it outside the house whenever he isn't there....then take it off before u see him...i do this with my parents cos it makes them feel uncomfortable and I don't see it as deceiving because It's the only alternative....in the meantime continue to explain to him that it is an obligation and state where it says it in the Quran...i doubt he will want to go against the word of God...and don't harm urself! It's a bad thing to do and i no it gets tough but find other ways to get a release like learning more about islam

SalafiUmmi SalafiUmmi is offline
1 year ago

Assalamu'Alaikum WaRahamtuhllahiWaBarakatuh Little Uhkti,
17 is a tough age for anyone to feel comfortable and to fit in.
It's so hard to explain to someone that things will change so much once you finish school and move on to University or Marriage or both Insha'Allah.
Did you ask your mother what you should do or how she feels on the subject?
How about some of your other Mahram...brothers etc?
I would take their advice firstly and than ask Allah(swt) to make what is good for you easy to reach and to take what is bad from you far away.
Be patient this is a test from Allah(swt).
JazakAllahuKhair

miss_modesty miss_modesty is offline
1 year ago

Sis i think u should think bout Allah, He is the giver of life and the taker of lives. you should never be forced to take off your hijab to please the creation. if your dad doesnt beleive in hijab, then thats his choice. show ur dad love & respect, but dont do anything against islam. Sis people are looking at your beauty. its your dress and u should be strong about it. i can understand, my mother was the same when i started to wear hijab. u really need a best friend for this kinda thing, that will stick with u thru thick n thin n support u with this. u know there are plenty of sisters here that care bout u so dont ever feel like u dont have any options left. :) Love you for sake of Allah. xx

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