When I Grow up

I was looking at the forums and I came across one asking people what they thought about being when they were kids. The question reminded me of something I had been reflecting on during my last trip to houston ( for an al-maghrib class).

I have never had a specific goal in regards to career. In primary school we would have a day where the students could dress up as  what they wanted to be when they grow up. Many of my fellow students were teachers, nurses, doctors ( few of them actualy achived thiese high goals ...thanks to the challanges of highschool)

When I started going to church and attending sundayschool I developed a fascination with God. I read my bible constantly ( though I did not understand much of it) I was so eager to learn more about God that I clung to anything that I thought would bring me close to him.

Eventualy, all the social cliqes and the hypocracy that I saw in church turned me off of that group. My urge to find God did not go away though. I searched for him in paganism. I was determined to find a way to God without the preacher or the sundayschool teacher. As a pagan, I found my way into trouble. I sufferd lots of spiritual, and emotional trama. After a few years I found myself back in christianity. This time I was in The catholic church. The life of an ordinary catholic was not enough though. I still had this longing to devote my WHOLE life to God, not just a few hours a week.

I started to explor the possability of becoming a nun. That seemed the best way to achive my goal. I would get to live my life for God and be close to him at last. Then, I was introduced to Islam. Islam was the answer!  In islam I found full time devotion. In islam I found out how near and accessable my creator is.

I guess...what I wanted to be "when I grow up" is Muslim. I just did not have the knowledge nessisary to express that desire untill now.