This blog is dedicated to those of you who think they have no place here on muslimspace.com.
Judgment is a key factor in the outlook many Muslim women and how they portray one another. I was angry with someone earlier today, and portrayed her out to be a horrible person; which ironically was what she did to me. I am new to this site, only been here for a few days, and added a few people I thought I could learn a lot from. I wanted to get to know more Black Muslims since that is what I am. There are few to none in my area that I can relate to, so the site provided a great way to connect. I added one sister in particular who was disgusted and offended that I had the audacity to add her. I had no idea that I would receive such a response. She didn’t tell me in a message, I had to find out by poking around in the forums and happened to come by one she wrote within the past two days or so. She said that she did not understand why the site administrators allowed women without hijabs on the site. She then went on to describe what I looked like, down to the color of my clothes in my profile picture and said that she wanted nothing to do with me. And that I was dressed as a non-believer, and shouldn’t call myself a Muslim….because I do not wear hijab.
I have never been brought to tears from embarrassment before in my life. I consider myself to be strong willed. I’ve been trough rape, depression, attempted suicide, homelessness, heartbreak, disownment, separation of parents, and so much more. Modesty has nothing to do with all of these things because I was exposed in ways that I would never wish upon anyone. I view myself as someone who doesn’t cry anymore. I have always been on my feet with my head held high, but this subject brought me to my knees today; because it was a direct hit on my spirituality and the way I conduct myself. I wouldn’t be putting up much a fight over this issue if there weren’t so many other Muslim women agreeing with her. I now see soooo many pictures dedicated to the phrase “stop hijabless pics”.
I am sickened by all of this hate. There is a reason for why I do not wear hijab, and that is between God and I. But since there are so many of you out there that seem to hate the fact that I am on this site, I guess I’ll share. I just converted for God’s sake. How dare any of you judge me for my actions? What I think is shameful, is for a woman to wear the hijab and not be the best Muslim she can be. The best Muslim I think I could be is years down the road. The Qur’an was NOT written in a day, so neither should be my deen. I was expecting to learn and grow from this site, and I still do. But with caution now, because now I see that there are a lot of you out there that judge people without any background to that person’s character. And to those of you who had no idea that this kind of thing was happening, I hope you are now informed and will talk to your fellow sisters and brothers about the impact that it has on converts…or for that matter, anyone. The number one reason people have given me as to why they stopped believing in Islam is because they felt they were pushed away. I never understood that, but now I do. I don’t think I’ll stop believing, but it’s hard to hold strong when the community has turned their backs on you.
Asalam sis. Insha-Allah u r well and in good health make Allah protect us keeps us firm in his deen Ameen. keep ur head up